Top tips on which of your natural skills to use and when
5 minutes quiet time a day
Which ever language you are sharing with your child:
Root yourself i.e. Sit on the floor, opposite them, in proximity (see safe space) with something they love to play with between you
Wait and watch what they are doing in their play
Stay quiet
Do not speak until they invite you with a ‘face watch’
In response to that face watch, ‘light up ‘(safe face) and if they have not made a sound - say what you know they are trying to tell you or say.
If they are using their voice – repeat what you know they mean e.g. child ‘egh’ adult ‘dog’
If they have said a sentence – repeat the last word e.g. child ‘doggie got dinner’, adult smile, nod, repeat – ‘dinner’
If they say a sentence that you can’t understand say one word that you do or that you know is in what they have said
If they say a sentence and you understand the meaning but the sentence isn’t what you would say in this situation. nod, smile and say a word that does relate to this situation e.g. child ‘let’s see the trains’ (a phrase the child uses when he wants to go) Adult says ‘time to go’
If they say a sentence and it is not fluent - repeat the last word or key word
When they look away – stop talking/don't talk
Don’t worry if when they face watch you smile, but forget to say anything
If they talk (uses his voice like he did) but don’t look at you – stay quiet, wait –they will then look to see if you are still there/flistening –when they face watch, light up, and repeat the last word
To begin with repeating/saying only one word (rather than saying a phrase and adding on) is very important (see Frequently Asked Questions)
During these ‘quiet times’ at home, please don’t worry if they don’t ‘face watch’ at all for the whole five minutes (i.e you don''t say anything). The quiet time is for them to enjoy feeling calm, and gives them time to oganise their thoughts in play without anyone 'interfering’. By you sitting with them in the 'listening space’ you are showing them how much you are enjoying watching and learning from them. You are showing them that it is really valuable to take time to organise, think and plan what we wish to share and do with others.. If the whole quiet time is silent – that is ok.
Outside of the quiet times:
At other times, outside of the five minutes, when you are wanting to say something to them, go down to their level, in the safe-space (listening space) and wait a moment - they will look up/ ‘face watch’ (wait for them to do this before you speak), then ‘chunk’ what you are saying e.g. ‘let’s go out…………(they look away, you stop talking), they face watch again ‘go and get your (they look away, you stop talking) ………they face watch you again ‘shoes’ etc
Try not to talk when you know they aren’t face watching. They will not be able to tune in/listen properly to you.
Try to avoid :
Asking them questions e.g what’s this called
Getting them to repeat you e.g. ‘say hello’, ‘wave bye bye’
Never :
Tell them to look at you, always wait for them to face watch to show they want you to join in.
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